Why do you cry, she asks me?
Because my heart feels with tears what I cannot say with words, I tell her.
Where do tears come from, she asks me?
From loss, from joy, from beauty so overwhelming that your eyes overflow your feelings, I say.
What is loss, she asks me?
Loss is a crack in your heart so big that it can never be fixed, I gently tell her.
It is wishing something could be different and knowing it can't be, and accepting you will never be the same for knowing that.
What is joy, she asks me?
Joy is when your body bursts open everywhere with happiness and you look like the sun and the sparkle and the shine all mixed together, I respond.
What is beauty, she asks me?
Beauty is God, I tell her.
But what is God, she asks me?
God is love, I answer.
We sit in silence for a bit and then she whispers, Grandma, what is love?
Love is this, I tell her as I gently wrap my arms around her.
But in my head I whisper,
and it's the answer to every question you will ever have,
my dear, sweet love...
every single one.
January 20, 2020